Why Am I Still Single?

REALationship.com Expert Rinatta Paries

Do you wonder why everyone else seems to be happily in love while you are not? Do you wonder where all the good ones are? Does it seem that everywhere you look, you run across people who are not a fit for you, and that many of your friends appear to be having the same problem? Do you wonder why you can’t get to the second date or, at times, even to the first date? Do you wonder why you can’t seem to keep a relationship? Do you keep trying to figure out how to be better, different or more attractive, so that you can finally be in a relationship? Or, worse, have you given up on having a loving relationship in your life altogether?

This great dilemma of why you are still single after everything you have tried to do to get into a relationship baffles and bothers most singles. If only meeting more eligible people provided a solution to finding the right mate, what you have already done to meet new people would have worked. If the solution amounted to reading self-help books and learning more about yourself, then the self-learning you have already done would have helped you to attract a mate. If the solution meant talking about and processing your past in therapy, then, for those of you who have done therapy, it would have already helped you. And, if giving up on love altogether really worked, you would be happy alone, unfettered by lack of a loving partner.

So why are you still single?

Here is the untold truth. There are certain aspects of dating and being in a relationship that bring up for you unconscious, hard to deal with and uncomfortable feelings. These feelings may come from your childhood and/or from your past relationships. You are probably not aware of these feelings or how they dictate your thoughts, beliefs, choices, perceptions and actions. Even if you have been in therapy, these feelings were probably not discovered or adequately dealt with.

It is hard to cope with these strong, uncomfortable feelings on your own, so much so that you may hide them, unconsciously, from yourself. It is these strong, deep feelings that keep you from attracting or allowing the right partner into your life. Until you bring to consciousness and deal with these uncomfortable and overwhelming feelings, you are very unlikely to attract a loving, healthy partner or to have a loving, healthy relationship.

Additionally, most people don’t know how to successfully attract a healthy partner, or how to build and keep alive a thriving, loving, healthy relationship. Even people who have a library of self-help books are often misinformed about what to do about and in relationships, because they are deeply affected by their unconscious uncomfortable feelings.

There you have it – the reason you are still single.

Please know that there really is something holding you back from love, and it has nothing to do with what’s happening in the outside world and everything to do with what’s happening inside of you. When you end up in relationships or in dating situations that are not to your liking, your uncomfortable unconscious feelings are being reflected to you as if you were looking into a mirror. When you give yourself and people around you the reasons for why you are still single, your unconscious uncomfortable feelings are showing through the reasons you give.

-By Love Coach Rinatta Paries