He Already Wants to have Sex!

Q: Marie Truax from Deerfield, IL

This guy who I have been seeing for 3 months now is starting to ask about having sex. I think he wants to do it because he keeps hinting that it would be okay if it were to happen. My friends have warned me about him in the past, but I want to hope and think that he has changed. I don’t want it to be about sex, what should I do?

A: REALationship.com expert team:

Dear Marie,

Marie I appreciate your willingness to be open and honest about such an important issue. It sounds like you are in a very tough situation, and I am sure you understand that having sex is a very emotional act for anyone. Based on your thoughts, it seems like you have an understanding that a relationship should never be based on the physical intimacy, rather any REALationship stems from trust and most importantly respect. I have to wonder if he is willing to have sex so soon would he truly be respecting you. Only you can make that decision about when to have sex, not him or your friends. My suggestion is to discuss with him your feelings about this. He needs to know that you would like to wait because you would more importantly build a relationship based on other things like friendship and each others interests rather than the physical. If he can’t understand this then he probably lacks the qualities that you would ultimately want to find in a boyfriend. See how he reacts to your thoughts in the next couple months, this should tell you a lot. -RET

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