Jealous Boyfriend?

Q: Jessica Newell from Portland, OR:

I am 19 and have been dating a guy for almost 2 years. Everything is fine except that at times he can be very suspicious, possessive and jealous. It’s like he doesn’t want me to have fun with my friends. I have talked to him about it, and he says it’s because he loves me so much. I don’t think this is bad, is it? Please help ...

A: REALationship.com expert team:

Dear Jessica,

It is not surprising that your boyfriend’s jealousy and possessiveness is upsetting you. Your boyfriend may love you, but these feelings are most likely not coming because he loves you. Rather these feelings could possibly come from his insecurity. He could possibly fear getting hurt, abandoned, or perhaps even cheated on. Assuming that you have not done anything out of the ordinary that would make him suspicious, it may be difficult to make an effort to show him you can be trustworthy. The bad news is that it can be very hard to make him stop being possessive, suspicious, and jealous. The good news is that you don’t have to take it personally and he is probably going to have these feelings in any relationship he is in for a long time. If you feel he is worth waiting for then he will come around. So go about your life, doing what you need to do and stop accommodating his feelings. This is your only hope of helping him ever get over them. Good Luck and let us know how it works out. –RET

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