Does She not Trust me? Is She too Needy?

Ryan Manning from Los Angeles, CA

I am a 24 year-old, never married, guy in a 2 year relationship with my girlfriend. It is a very loving and evenly matched relationship. I do have one problem that keeps coming up. My girlfriend, Erin, gets so upset when I don’t call her exactly when she wants me to. We have had many discussions about it, but it seems like the issue at large never gets fixed. This comes up about once a month. Is it a trust issue? Does this point to a larger problem?

A: REALationship.com Expert Team:

Dear Ryan,

Don’t be discouraged. Erin could possibly be thinking something that a lot of girls think, they want to be wanted. Sometimes girls can use phone calls as an added feeling of how much you desire them. Even though you may disagree that prompt phone calls do not equal your desire for her, she may not think like you. Try to not always define an exact time when to call. This will mean freedom for both of you and will lessen ways in which she may have an opportunity to get let down. Perhaps that is why you have a hard time calling is because you don’t want to deal with the confrontation. Keep the phone calls pleasant and deal with the issue when talking in person. This may help the problem. Once there is not as much pressure of when to call, try making a few extra phone calls to show Erin you do care. Then over time, watch to see if a larger problem arises. Good Luck and let us know how it goes. -RET

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