I started dating this guy and ...

Question:

I started dating this guy almost a month after meeting him, we were supposed to go out Saturday but he hadn't called because of cell phone issues, I ended up calling him, he told me he couldn't get my number out of his phone then he said that he would call me back and hung up really quick.  I took this to mean that he was not alone.  I called back after 10 minutes and got no answer.  So I changed my cell phone number and sent him a text message from a different source the next morning stating "I'm a nice girl looking for a nice guy and this is why we were introduced but nice isn't you, I'm not for the BS so leave me be and don't ever contact me again."  I liked him a lot and feel he felt the same about me.  I do believe I acted too hastily and harsh, because I'm afraid of getting hurt if things get serious.  Is there any advice you can give me on how to apologize to him so that we can continue dating?  I really think he is worth getting to know, otherwise I would let it go without a second thought, but I'm afraid to call him and apologize out of fear that he won't be willing to talk to me. I've been told by a girlfriend that I'm a grouch, that I give no one a chance, and that I like no one, because I'm tired of running and not giving anyone a chance. Please help, because I'm tired of running and not giving anyone a chance.  - Beth Stevens

Answer:

First, to be honest, it does sound like you acted rather hastily. It's good that you can recognize that. But we all act hastily at times and do things we wish we hadn't. You are a brave person for even wanting to apologize, so you should go ahead and jump right in.

Apologies are rarely easy. The best thing to do is face it head on. Stop by to see him or call him, which ever you think is most appropriate or that you think would make him comfortable. Either way you'll probably feel uncomfortable but he is the one you want to impress so make him as comfortable as possible.

Speaking from the heart is generally the best approach. Tell him you really like him and think he's a great person. You were just very worried and confused for a moment and did something you would take back if you could. Ask him for a chance to prove that you're a better person than that mistake.

Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that he will react favorably, but you'll know that you tried and that you're becoming a better person for doing the right thing by apologizing so you can feel better about yourself regardless.

  -RET

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