First Place in the Chewing Contest

LOCATION: Farmingdale New York

My boyfriend's best friend moved to Arizona over the summer. He comes back to visit from time to time to see his girlfriend. Me and his girlfriend were talking one day and we were saying how cute it would be if we had a double date. We ended up saying how were going to go to the movies and go to Applebee's after. So were in the movie (by the way, the movie was Beowulf) and the theater was packed. Some people had to sit on opposite sides of the room. Anyways we found 6 empty seats in the back row. So you're thinking "Oh cool, the back corner all to ourselves"... nope... wrong. This old man his son and his grandsons come in. THE SON AND HIS GRANDSON ARE BASICALLY SITTING ON MY BOYFRIEND! So the grandfather sits in the row in front of us and the other 2 are, like I said, almost sitting on my boyfriend. So the boy (he looked about 12 or 13) took out some popcorn and started to eat. You know that one noisy eater in the theater that everyone gets pissed at? Well, that was this kid. He was getting "SSHHH"-ed from all ends of the room. So my boyfriend HATES people who chew like that. It goes right down his spine and gives him a headache. So he says "Baby I'll be right back". I say ok and he leaves. About 5-8 minutes later, he comes back with gummy worms and hands them to me (he's Muslim and can't have gummy anything b/c it has pig fat in it). He says to me in all seriousness. "Chew as loud as you can". So I, being smart, knew what he was trying to say and I start to chew. So me and this kid were having a loud chewing fight. About 15 minutes into it, I give him a death stare and he finally stops and the people in front of me start to cheer. And we watched the rest of the movie in peace. At the end of the movie, we go to Applebee's. GUESS WHO'S SITTING AT THE TABLE NEXT TO US!... THAT KID... so the kid looks at me and he has the look of pure fear on his face and looks straight at his plate and continues eating. So me, my boyfriend, his best friend and his girlfriend have something to talk about when we get together again.

Anonymous

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